nohway

GOLDEN GLOBS 2011 AKA “90210 SURGEON WATCH”

In Uncategorized on January 16, 2011 at 10:54 pm


Olivia Wilde

NEWS FROM LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET ON E

So…Rodarte didn’t receive official screen credit for BLACK SWAN’s Natalie Portman costumes? Wonder why –if it was a 2011 continuation of the bad old days when “officially named designer” (i.e. costume department heads like Paramount’s Edith Head or Fox’s Charles LeMaire HAD to receive screen credit for every movie released by their studios, regardless if some little upstart like say Hubert de Givenchy hapened to whip up a few – unforgettably influential – looks for Audrey Hepburn in SABRINA. La Head was more than happy to receive her Oscar for this film totally sans mention of Givenchy in her acceptance speech.)


This gown won an Oscar for Edith Head, not Givenchy who designed it in 1954

Amy Westcott gets screen credit for BLACK SWAN’S costumes, but is Rodarte’s omission really that big a deal? Although many are crowing about this horrendously overrated film’s so-called fashion influence, I found its drag pretty blah and, in some instances, like with the balletic tutus, borderline risible.

for real ballet movie glamour, give me Adrian’s White Swan effort for Vivien Leigh in WATERLOO BRIDGE (1940)

Ryan Seacrest identifies HOUSE’S beautiful, beautifully styled Olivia Wilde’s beautiful encrusted gown as a Marchesa – you GO, girl! and has completely fallen under fashion’s all-powerful sway. The Globs are a worthless award, really, (I mean BURLESQUE is nominated???) so its position as a major fashion parade really makes so much more sense. Wilde is also working the perfect gold Louboutin shoe with her dress and, with her sexy easy California girl hair in lovely counterpoint to her major frock, will be hard to beat style-wise tonight.

Kaley Cuoco’s Catherine Kidd elaborate, very wedding nude froth of a gown is a little pale for her blonde coloring (with lazy-looking mare’s tail cascading down the back) but, after Wilde’s ballroom moment, this also hits a note of major, major high glam look tonight which will no doubt continue, hopefully, giving us all something to sigh and/or sneer at wholeheartedly. BANISH BLANDNESS!

The E hosts – Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osborne, et al – are discussing the pregnant Portman’s baby bump, as well as other expectant actresses and how they’ll be draping their protuberances. Yawn! I frankly don’t care if they do skintight and expose everything or go demurely caftan. I don’t expect these women to go into hiding until they drop like in Victorian days, but, unless they outrageously work, say, an avant-garde Rei Kawakubo puffy humped look, which I dearly wish some expectant diva will do some day, for me, their condition, however blessed, renders them sartorially null.

Enduringly bland and demure in public Jennifer Love Hewitt, a prettier Sarah Jessica Parker, in an uninspired Ramona Cabeza dress and old lady up-do, looks very mother-of-the-bride who hates her for overdressing and stealing her thunder. How lucky is this aging eternal ingenue still to be working I can’t help thinking, not to mention being nominated for something or other tonight.

Seacrest just told Alec Baldwin he didn’t mean “queen” when he called him a “diva,” after Baldwin made a big deal (in fun, OF COURSE) about the exact connotation of being called that. Baldwin is sooo reliably old school, from that Sinatra-esque time, when even a suspicion of faggotry, however subtle, was cause for a certain nervous mirthmaking.

God, Scott Caan is short. But what do they say about good thngs + small packages? “Casey,” his girlfriend, just showed up and, in that great undying chauvinistic Hollywood tradition of bimbology, is not vouchsafed a surname by anyone present. To see a moment in which Caan showed off his “Hawaii 5-0” (and then some) click <a href="“>here

Elizabeth Moss doing CHILDREN’S HOUR witrh Keira Knightley in London she says – someone tell Aronofsky – more hot girl on girl action in the name of “Art”! Her Donna Karan emerald green “Gilda” dress feels a little after-thought-ish.

‘Marchesa, one of my favorites!” newbie fashionista Seacrest tells Ricky Gervais’ date with all the sincerity of the Sarah Palin “What, me advocating violence against political opponents?” demurrals we’ve been hearing all week.

Natalie Portman – the evening’s assured darling – in French twist and strapless something with a big red flower over Da Bump. Looks sweet and safe so far, from afar.

Strenuously populist Jimmy Fallon is shaking all the fans in the stands’ hands. Am I alone in finding him – ever since Saturday Night Live – desperately unfunny, a career solely built on cuteness and that demographically essential youth?

Jesse Tyler Ferguson tres elegant in Etro. Ryan didn’t know – he says – that Ferguson’s MODERN FAMILY partner Eric Stone is straight. “He’s such a good actor!” ( Remember when they said that about gays playing straight – and it didn’t even take that much talent – see Rock Hudson?)

Helena Bonham Carter upholding Brit eccentricity in what has to be Vivienne Westwood and mermaid hair – is Sarah Brightman moonlighting as her stylist these days?

Well, Portman managed to pull off a lovely and quite interesting pregger-look after all. Perfect blush pink luscious satin draped in front with that fun big old scarlet rose on the bodice. And a chic diamond collier and simple earrings. It’s Viktor and Rolf – maybe the simplest look I’ve ever seen from them, and so pitch perfect. I guess it helps that she isn’t showing all that much – she’s like “modern opera star” shape and weight now, which is still on the slim side.

Jason Segal carrying on with Fallon – singing a cheesy old rock anthem – and both of them not as funny as they think they are. How long is the exact shelf life of the frat boy thing?

“Oscar made my dress! Lea Michele admits (brand new big-ass divas can refer to de la Renta by his first name alone of course). A tan might have worked with that pale pink color. The dress is very Millie the Model and with all its bows and gathers a bit overpowering for her height.

Jake Gyllenhaal wonders how he can follow up Segal and Fallon – easy, bro! He’s bearded. Why??? And of course Ryan asks him about the nudity in his film with Anne Hathaway.

Emma Stone in a peach Calvin Klein ostentatiously simple column and Van Cleef clutch- again the pale coloring in the pale dress – definite trend of the evening.

Eva Longoria in Zac POsen – you NEED lipstick with a dress that starkly simple.

and yes Bonham Carter is in Westwood with two different color shoes (green and red – yeccch!) and looks determined to grab worst-dressed of the night, which she assuredly will.

I’ve never used the phrase ‘exquisitely handsome’ but think I will, for SOCIAL NETWORK’s Armie Hammer who played the Winklevi.


Hammer with Elizabeth Chambers

Sporting another pale on pale look, a blandly unadorned one shoulder goddess gown, Nicole Kidman’s blank canvas face has now completely lost its expressiveness.

Justin Bieber pops up and his smooth-faced prettiness suddenly makes me wonder if Kidman didn’t bring his photo to her face doc.

Jane Krakowski shows off her baby bump in a Badgeley Mishka that’s much more the dull expected expectant look we anticipated – and what a freakin’ drab color!

Jane Lynch makes her annual appearance – in a black Nahimi that suits her – if only to prove once again how diminutive Seacrest is, with her Amazon height.


Lynch with partner Lara Embry

Ryan Gosling with his huge head has by now attained a John Barrymore handsomeness. He was terrific, inventive and authentically blue collar , in BLUE VALENTINE, an otherwise negligible underwritten soap opera of a film, and even better as that cross-dressing accused murderer Douglas Durst in ALL GOOD THINGS this year, which, unaccountably has gone completely overlooked in favor of his other, decidedly inferior film. As for his now gal pal, Michelle Williams, in BLUE VALENTINE -meh! Her character is a cold bitch – it’s just that simple, somehow more complex (although nothing is really specified) than Gosling’s character, and wholly undeserving of her husband’s simple, genuine affection, and Williams isunable to overcome the uninviting, sketchy conception of her role.

Catherine Zeta in Lullier emerald green and diamond shoulder dusters looks like she stepped out of an Ingres portrait. Michael Douglas, a real survivor in Canali, looks great.

Mila Kunis simply styled in another emerald green dress and the same do as BLACK SWAN co-star Portman. The dress is quite lovely with a lot of backless interest going on in the rear.

Angelina Jolie ALSO in green -definite trend – Versace. It’s beaded but boring – in that covered up square shouldered silhouette Jolie traditionally favors. How this girl could work a Galliano if she’d only let herself! Is she still shilling for – God help us – St. John these days?

“Do you ever make up the doctor’s language on HOUSE” is Ryan’s particularly idiotic Hugh Laurie question. How much does he make??

Robert Downey Jr. looks more conservative banker in gray suit and red tie – Prada – than I’ve ever seen him.

Cory Monteith is single? hmmmmm….a bit too big for the white bowtie tuxedo look which needs to be buttoned and which has a dorky whiff here.

Claire Danes in simple elegant, backless pink Calvin Klein but too-butch office manager hair.

Tina Fey in classically elegant black L’Wren Scott. Girlfriend’s getting hipper by the second.

Halle Berry -remember her? – in black Nina Ricci and literally heavy-handed diamond handcuffs. Seacrest says Aretha Franklin wanted Berry to play her – something she addresses by saying she cannot sing. Halle as ReeRee? Words simply fail….

Anne Hathaway wearing a sparkly Armani that makes me think somehow of that drunken queen who shrieked at a Broadway opening, “Betsy Palmer’s here in the beaded dress she wore to the 1984 Daytime Emmys!”

Megan Scott in a beautifully slashed blush Armani Prive with lucky boyf. Brian Austin Green also in Armani.

Jennifer Lopez’s ass looks frankly HUGE in white draped chiffon, something the beaded curtain she wears over her shoulders cannot hide.

Christina Aguilera, channeling Mae West (though she’s probably going for Marilyn), in black beaded lace and insanely processed platinum hair. What’s that I hear? Oh, her roots shrieking for mercy.

Scarlett Johanssen in yet another ghostly palette, very Ophelia before the Big Dunk.

Ok, Ryan, now you accuse Mark Wahlberg and his producer of being each other’s dates- after the Baldwin episode, the Fallon-Segal romance jokes etc etc. Swing open that closet door, honeychile!

Tilda Swinton in a forcefully eccentric look – man’s shirt and shiny parachute skirt which must rank as one of her arty missteps.

Helen Mirren who looks to be fully embracing her fully matured doyenne status in a look Marie Dressler might have coveted.


Marie Dressler admiring Jean Harlow’s 1933 red carpet look by Adrian in DINNER AT EIGHT

January Jones in an outrageously revealing red Versace fringed confection which we call “Remember Elizabeth Hurley’s safety pin? Well, FORGET her!”

THE 68th ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBS begin

Ricky Gervais hilariously addresses THE TOURIST being unacccountably nominated for a Glob (can anyone say “lavish press junket?”) – as Johnny Depp smiles.

Did anyone see supporting actor in a movie winner Christian Bale on Charlie Rose ridiculously still using that Boston accent from THE FIGHTER to answer questions? Thank God he’s reverted to being a Brit. (It sounds so much better when you dementedly shriek at your film crews.)

Katy Sagal, wearing Howard Johnson drapes, looks eerily ageless. Is that a good thing? I’m sure there will be quite a few more glimpses of the Undead tonight.

Julianne Moore is completely overpowered by a one-sleeved rose satin Lanvin THING. They call her a fashion icon. For us, the jury’s still out.

Critics I know loved the many-houred original version of CARLOS, not least for its hunky star, Edgar Ramirez, who I heard got fully naked. Seven hours of my life is a lot to ask to see some junk, however hot. To save time click here

I don’t know. Leighton Meester – most annoying name ever?

Chris Colfer from GLEE wins and looks genuinely shocked for this well deserved award, which has doubtlessly helped a whole generation of budding queers. Lea Michele gives a Golden Glob-worthy performance watching him. He gives a truly inspirational, moving because genuinely moved, speech.

Remember when Michelle Pfeiffer was one of the most special, distinctive beauties on the screen? Honestly, can you now tell her apart from any twelve Hollywood blondes these days of indeterminate age?

This placidly defiant Golden Glob rep, Philip Berk, actually has a mea culpa for Geravis’ comments about the lousy nominees (THE TOURIST, BURLESQUE, ALIVE IN WONDERLAND) which basically says, “You may think we nominate crap for suspicious reasons year after year, but look how popular SHOWGIRLS is now.” (And Glob winner Pia Zadora, of course, is enshrined in the ultimate pantheon of divas.)

(UPDATE: the day after the awards show has Gervais suffering major fall-out for his hilarious snarkiness, with all of these industry types and bloggers behaving like shocked modern-day Louella O. Parsons and Hedda Hoppers (those two great Hollywood hypocrites) that any upstart Brit comedian would dare to make fun of gay closeted, formerly drug-addicted, abusively alcoholic multimillionaires who foist crap movies on a lemming-like public with decidedly LCD cinematic taste, all too willing to be ripped off at the box office. Now comes word that he is banned for life from hosting the Globs ever again. Oh, boohoo for these poor, poor celebs whose fame and entitlement somehow hasn’t afforded them thicker skins at a time when the averg\age American is struggling to just put food on the table. Sorry, stars, but you’re our entertainment during this Depression, in maybe not all the ways you or your PR armies can easily control. Piers Morgan rightly, sensibly observed on THE VIEW that it was like inviting a shark and then expecting him not to attack. So, maybe next year, Ryan Seacrest will host the entire evening, red carpet, awards, the whole shebang with the “proper” toadying bland innocuousness.

By the way, I am totally looking forward to Morgan taking over Larry King’s spot, especially as he said that, unlike King, he will actually research his interview subjects before the show. King’s success in a field in which he was so completely inept – not to mention outlandishly UNcamera-friendly – something which only grew to grotesque lengths year after year – made his show totally unwatchable and a complete indictment of American “culture.”)

Angelina fixes the tie of Dorian Gray – oops I mean Brad Pitt – and all the world thrills to this public moment of intimate “little helpful woman” domesticity.

Mila Jovovich in a silver mermaid look is slightly reminiscent of Rita Hayworth – but only slightly.

Always great to see good guy Steve Buscemi of BOARDWALK EMPIRE win anything – although he is told to wrap it up seconds after reaching the podium although Bale was allowed to blather on and on.

Andrew Garfield’s neck is even longer than Audrey Hepburn’s, an amazing male objet d’art, especially in the oh-so creepy NEVER LET ME GO, and he was a great dancer in THE SOCIAL NETWORK at that Jewish frat mixer..

I’d dearly love to send new Judge Jennifer Lopez to diction school.

Sorry, that Diane Warren dirge – I mean song – Cher had to try to make magic of in BURLESQUE (and failed), SUCKED.

Trent Reznor will win every music score award this year – the perfect storm of rock cred, generational appeal, hipper than thou film debut, etc., etc. He deserves it, too, incidentally.

Will Justin Bieber grow any more you think? Oh, well, Mickey Rooney was once voted King of the Movies, you know.]

Ah, that closeup of Angelina, all snuggled up against Brad, still working her enjoyment of being one half of the most popular couple in the eternal high school that is Hollywood.

Michelle Williams’ cutesy Marrimeko print gown, with her pixie do, all too cutesy. I mean, what the hell is Carey Mulligan gonna do?

Annette Bening just went for Serious Actress, All in Black, with Bed Hair and glasses. I mean, what the hell is Meryl Streep gonna do?

Al Pacino recommended Bening’s hair stylist…to Mark Rufalo, as well.

OMG. Sylvester Stallone’s face. It just looks like it hurts.


“The Salesman and the Laundress” starring Geoffrey Rush and Tilda Swinton.
He wears the hat because he shaved his head for a role in Nikolai Gogol’s play DIARY OF A MADMAN opening next month at Brooklyn Academy of Music.

Helen Mirren introduces the clip from THE KING’S SPEECH, which, honestly, underwhelmed me. I have my definite Anglophile moments but it takes more than an expensive mounting of the past married to welling muzak and explorations of the inner pain of the most entitled (titled) folk in the world who pay no taxes to make me shed an obsequiously royalist tear. God, how Americans have always fallen for this blarney dating back to and beyond the days when lucky Yanks Irene Dunne, Helen Hayes and Bette Davis played Queens Victoria and Liz I. THE KING’S SPEECH treats monarch George’s stammer as if it were the direst form of multiple sclerosis, at the very least, and we the humble audience, the lower orders, are supposed to be so thrilled with the privilege of being allowed into these intimate palace moments.

Colin Firth is competent, but I never find him, no matter what the role, very much more than that, whether as a rather torturously essayed, grimly serious homosexual in A SINGLE MAN (where was the fun, the knowing camp of the 1960s?), or, here, as a torturously stuttering royal. He lacks elemental passion, as well as the compelling charisma of a real star which could galvanize sketchy (A DIFFERENT MAN) or pompously cliched (THE KING’S SPEECH) material into something truly moving, the way a Richard Burton, Peter O’Toole or Albert Finney could. A KING’S SPEECH is also filled with annoying little casting wish-fulfillments and infelicities, like the two utterly perfect beauties who play Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret (neither of whom were ever real swans) or Timothy Spall’s completely ridiculous blowfish caricature of Winston Churchill.

Presenter Vanessa Williams looks frankly…tacky. The hair is too flat and lifeless, the eyes too darkly made up, the sequin Norell-esque gown dull with that bit of unnecessary beaded embroidery (and can we put an embargo already on one-shoulder), and those too-much blingy earrings.

What the hell is Jane Fonda – never known for great fashion sense – wearing?

It’s great that Melissa Leo won for THE FIGHTER, as she so deserved every award imaginable for FROZEN RIVER.

Brown-nosing Matt Damon declaring Robert DeNiro, Cecil B. DeMille award winner, “greatest actor alive”? PLEAAASE! Is the “Fokkers” franchise included in that assessment? Yes, indeed, as Damon says, “let’s take a look at one of the greatest careers” and you will see that what started out excitingly – BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY, MEAN STREETS, GODFATHER II, TAXI DRIVER, NEW YORK, NEW YORK – after the hideously overrated piece of pulp RAGING BULL (quite possibly the most overrated film of all time), all too soon became calcified into your choice of exactly two flavors. There was Psycho Bob (with that contemptuously downturned, ugly mouth and predictably “dangerous” mania in GOOD FELLAS, FRANKENSTEIN, CAPE FEAR, CASINO, et al.) and there was Wimpy Bob (STANLEY AND IRIS, THE AWAKENINGS, MARVIN’S ROOM, et al., in which he was, invariably, numbingly bland) with utterly no shading in between these two black and white extremes. In last year’s EVERYBODY’S FINE, which NOBODY SAW, however, he evinced something of his old talent and did some of the most subtle, affectingly strong work he’s done in years.

Then there’s his incredibly annoying – what is it -shyness, or a mere entitled arrogance born of success and some kind of 1960s-70s concept of “cool” which makes him such a selfishly ungiving, guarded presence offscreen, especially in the very interview situations which he is sometimes called upon to do to promote his $20 million per projects? Being a journalist myself, perhaps, makes me all the more sensitive to the discomfiting hell this kind of personal choice results in, and, while I never felt I could feel sorry for either David Letterman or Dustin Hoffman, who are pretty eminent in their respective smugness, as well, I certainly did when the three recently shared a stage on Letterman’s show. DeNiro was so infuriatingly non-forthcoming that even Hoffman, who has no problem being publicly voluble, seemed embarassed as it seemed as if, in the face of DeNiro’s non-presence that night, it almost could be read that his gabbiness amounted to hogging the show.

Even his acceptance speech, which could have been an opportunity to express gratitude to anyone from his father, Expressionist painter, Robert DeNiro, Sr., to acting teacher Stella Adler, he turned into a lame comedy routine. It’s odd, the moments when he chooses to open up – like after 9/11 when he exhorted everyone not to give up on downtown Manhattan and started the Tribeca Film Festival. One couldn’t help but notice that a certain personal interest also came into play here, what with the pricey restaurants and real estate he has long-owned in the vicinity.

Getting back to the awards, David Fincher deserved best director.

Alicia Keyes’ one-shouldered orange tent – unflattering.

Incredibly likable Paul Giammatti – who, already in his career, has shown more range than DeNiro’s decades of work – charmingly confesses to eating five boxes of Godiva chocolates and being “a little jacked up.”

The awards juggernaut begins this weekend for Natalie Portman what with the Critics award Friday night and tonight’s Golden Globes. Looks like fulfilling Darren Aronofsky’s personal fantasies, i.e., getting naked, masturbating, having lesbian sex and one-note suffering in his garish garbage paid off!

Hey Angelina! The camera was on you watching Portman and you forgot to nuzzle Brad!

Ouch! The nominees for Best Comedy/Musical…why didn’t they just automatically give it to THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT? Which was all right, if a little too pat and self-congratulatory for my taste. Plus, I’m never crazy about seeing how incredibly, often unbelievably, mutable queer sexuality can be in films, whether it’s the baby-making gays of THE WEDDING BANQUET or the lesbian (Julianne Moore) in KIDS who – lucky everything girl! – also lands Mark Rufalo with all his natural hunkiness, vintage wines and chic restaurant, too boot.

Sandra Bullock – is that you under Cher’s old hair? Come out, come out, even if you’re in ANOTHER one-shoulder dress.

The juggernaut also begins for Critics/Globe winner Colin Firth, as well. Ho – the fuck – hum.

Michael Douglas presents best dramatic film to THE SOCIAL NETWORK, and you just realize simply how, despite the almost universal obnoxious odiousness of the characters, very much smarter it was than nearly everything else this year (and others, as well).

BTW, Seal and Heidi Klum were, by far, the most striking, colorful couple of the night

but overall best-dressed still goes to sexy sexy Olivia Wilde, first one on the red carpet tonight who set an impossibly high bar for all the other divas, with Natalie Portman, surprisingly, taking second place.

COPYRIGHT: davidnoh2011

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